Working on Getting a Life

Image: chrisroll / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Jane Friedman has a really great post on the Writer Unboxed blog:

The Secret to Finding the Time to Write, Market, Promote, and Still Have a Life

It's great advice, and I've already implemented a few of the suggestions as part of my new year resolutions.

My two favorite suggestions are:
#1: Make a "Stop Doing List"; and
#3: Say good-bye to guilt and obligation.

On my "Stop Doing List" this year is some of the social media (which she also mentions under "guilt and obligation"). A lot of experts really push the issue of "being everywhere" on social media and getting your name out there, but I just can't do it all (I accept my limitations) and I'm not good at doing it all. And then I end up feeling guilty about neglecting it and that makes me feel even worse.

So this year, I've decided I'm going to focus on the big ones:
this blog, which I truly enjoy;
Twitter, which I also enjoy and I keep up with fairly well (but there's room for improvement); and
Facebook, which I'm terrible at but vow to get better.

As for the "say good-bye to guilt," I've always been pretty good at saying "no" but I'm learning to be even better at it.

Back when I was homeschooling my kids, I was also running an online educational products business AND trying to write. On an almost daily basis, someone would ask me for a favor (drive my kid here, pick up this for me, drop off this for me, join this committee with me). I soon came to realize that the general image that people had of stay-at-home moms (homeschooling or otherwise) was that we spend our days on the couch watching soaps and eating bon-bons. At one point, someone I knew actually told someone else, "I'll ask her for help. It's not like she has anything better to do, right?" You know, that's probably not the best way to curry favor with me, lol.

And I know, there are supermoms out there. You know the type: they have eight kids that they homeschool, they volunteer at church, run the homeschool co-op, keep a spotless house, make their own clothes, keep a three-acre garden . . . Well, I am NOT one of those people and never will be. One of my personal pet peeves is people who say, "Well Mrs. Has-It-All-Together does it." Great . . . then get Mrs. Has-It-All-Together to fricken help you because I'm busy.

[Steps down off the soapbox and takes a few deep breaths]

So that's my plan for this year. I'm already working on my "Stop Doing List," I'm practicing my forceful "No!", and I'm going to focus on the things that are most important in my life (like my writing).

I'm feeling better about 2012 already!