Comic Relief & Weird News, Jul 27th

Great. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day. And I can't even get my husband to walk the garbage to the curb . . .
Chinese Man Walks 1000 Miles to Win Bride

I'd pay more to be in a quiet zone. When we stay in a hotel, one of two scenarios is guaranteed:
if we aren't on the top floor, we'll be right below a 300 pound man who falls down drunk several times over the course of the night;
if we are on the top floor, then an out-of-town junior gymnastics team will spend all night doing their exercises in the hall (seriously though: kids running up and down the hall all night).
I have to assume that this always happens because of where we stay: if we're in a hotel, it's probably because we are at a casino. Drunk people are to be expected and since the parents are on the casino floor all night, their kids are running amok up and down the halls.
Hotel Chain Drafts Snore Patrols

They should have painted flames down the side of his shell (in non-toxic paint, of course). His wheel looks less like a racecar wheel and more like an ottoman caster, though.
Tortoise Gets Artificial Wheel

This is why I don't like boats. And I'm always afraid a bee is going to get on the boat with me. This is much worse.
Great White Shark Leaps Aboard Boat

Perhaps the two phenomenon go hand in hand.
Fatter and Fewer German Nudists

Unbelievably cool!
Life-Sized Lego Animals Invade Bronx Zoo

ROFL! Mine supposedly says, "Cute Little Princess." This one's going down in the books right beside the time the dentist told me I have a small mouth (seriously considered having him sign a sworn statement attesting to it) and the time one of my co-workers told me I'd be a manager in no time because I was such a "people person" (still can't keep a straight face when I retell that story)!
What Your Tattoo Locations Says About You

7 Best Quotes from Suri's Burn Book

Flavorpill Street-Art Guide

From @funnyoneliners
When I say "word to the wise", what I really mean is "word to the stupid."

From @funnyoneliners
Children are a great comfort in your old age. And they help you get there faster, too.