Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Comic Relief & Weird News, Jun 8th

One stop shopping: weed and then a sub to take care of the munchies afterwards.
Subway Employee Sold Weed With Foot Longs

Someone order up a round of eye exams for these folks.
Fearsome Lawn Ornament Shot by Police

Man Snorts Dog

This one isn't so much a news story . . . take a look at this guy's arrest photo. Is that supposed to be intimidating, or did they do the cavity search while they were taking his photos?
Arrest Photo

5 Reasons You Secretly Want a Zombie Apocalypse

Who remembers when a journey of a thousand miles began with Dad saying, "I know a shortcut."?

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled, "There is another Washington...wait until you see the idiots I put there."

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